What My Sons’ Girlfriends Taught Me About Giving Gifts
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I’ll be honest - for most of my life, I wasn’t a good gift-giver!
Don’t get me wrong, I gave lots of gifts, but I wasn’t putting a lot of thought into it. I’d wait until the last minute, ask the person what they wanted, find something online, and ship it or throw it in a gift bag with some tissue – sometimes matching. The presentation was lacking, and it felt like I was just checking a box.
I tell myself I have an excuse — I’ve been surrounded by boys my whole life. Brothers growing up, sons of my own. Boys are easy - they’ll tell you exactly what they want, and they don’t judge how it’s wrapped. You check the list, you hand it over, everyone’s happy. I got very comfortable with that system.
Then my sons grew up and brought remarkable women into our lives.
My youngest son’s girlfriend joined us on a trip to Spain last year – it was something we’d been planning for years, and we were thrilled that she could join us! Shortly after the invitation and flights were booked, a gift arrived. A personalized world map with pins for the places our family had traveled together. She’d endured our family stories and turned them into something that would hang on our wall forever.
We didn’t know what to say; it was so thoughtful and so unnecessary, but cherished.
Throughout the trip, she was always slowing down to take pictures – a small annoyance that became a beautiful picture book upon our return.
Then there was a hole-in-one.
If you play golf, you know. It’s something you chase for years and sometimes never accomplish. It’s never been a goal for me, but I dunked mine on a family trip – a rare 18 holes with the people I love most – I felt lucky even before it happened.
When we got home, a package arrived. Inside were golf balls personalized with the date of my hole-in-one, and Yeti mugs - apparently, someone noticed that I could not keep my coffee from spilling in the cart!
She had memorialized the moment and observed my spillage issues!
I was touched beyond belief — not because the gifts were extravagant, but because they required attention on two completely different levels. The milestone and the mundane - once-in-a-lifetime and every single morning.
That’s when it clicked — gift-giving is so much more than the occasion, the extravagance, or the price. It’s about paying attention, expressing your feelings, and making someone feel special!
What I do differently now:
I pay attention. When a friend mentions a book, I write it down. When someone says they’ve always wanted to try something, I file it away. When I notice what someone gravitates toward — a scent, a ritual, a small pleasure — that’s the gift. If I find something I love, I share it with those I love.
I also decided that I don’t need to wait for an occasion. Some of the best gifts I’ve given were just because - bread on a neighbor’s porch because I know her family loves sourdough, flowers because they were beautiful, and I thought they’d brighten her day. No occasion required.
AND I wrap things now. Not perfectly — but with intention. Tissue paper, a ribbon, something that says I took an extra five minutes because you’re worth five extra minutes.
A few things worth giving:
These are things I’ve given, received, or added to my list.
Lots of choices, this one is from Amazon, but you can also search Etsy for “personalized world map with pins,” and you’ll find beautiful options at every price point. For the couple who travels, the friend who has been everywhere, or someone you’ve adventured with — this is the gift that lives on the wall for years.
Photo Books
Shutterfly and Chatbooks both make beautiful photo books — she spent an entire trip quietly taking pictures, a small annoyance that became one of the most meaningful mementos. If you've shared an experience with someone recently — a trip, a milestone, an ordinary weekend that turned into something — turn it into a book. They'll keep it forever.
Titleist Personalized Golf Balls
A hole-in-one, a birthday, a tournament, a first round at a new course — any milestone worth remembering is worth putting on a golf ball. These are the kind of gifts that get noticed every single round.
Keeps everything hot, fits in a cart holder, and has a lid that actually works. I know because someone who was paying attention decided I needed one. She was right.
The women in my sons’ lives didn’t just raise the bar on gift giving. They reminded me that there is an art to gift giving and it’s worth a little extra time and attention – make the tissue match!
A Small Life Gem: You don’t need a milestone moment to get started. Sometimes the best gift is a basket on a neighbor’s porch for no reason at all. But that’s a story for another day.
